"Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a Negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come."- Robert H. Schuller
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The great advice I have ever received is... "Cool the heals after an emotional moment." Just let a bit of time pass before you have to make a decision or before you want to make a comment .... try to not react in the moment, only because you might do or say something you will regret.
YOU NEED TO cool down AND TAKE TIME TO RECOUPE.
This means...try to calm your emotions down before you react to any situation that may need more thinking and rational. Yes, it sure is easier said than done.
How to let your worst mood pass? Try one or more of these things:
1. GET some VERBAL release: Take a big breath in, then...
- Vent your feelings and thoughts, just be careful where. when, and who is around you when you do this...
- Vent to family or friends or co-workers...anyone who will listen and be sure you can trust them Vent in private by verbally release your feelings until your emotions cool down
- Vent into an empty room void of anyone overhearing you
- Vent outside - scream if you want, but I recommend when nobody is around or you might have some explaining to do
- Vent in your vehicle when you are alone - go nuts and shake off those feelings that creep over your heart, soul, and body.... shake shake shake them off
2. GET some EMOTIONAL release:
- Scream in a pillow
- Cry
- Go for a walk
- Find a quiet place and relax
- Listen to some soft music and meditate
- Listen to loud music and sing your heart out
- Sip on a favorite drink or indulge on a favorite food
- Talk to someone you trust and who will listen
- be sure to tell them you just need to vent, as some people will make this about them and start talking to you rather than lending their ear (which is all you really need in the moment)
- Ask advice from someone you trust and respect
- Visualize yourself surrounded in white light
- Image your dark mood is before you and imagine blowing it out of your open window
3. WRITE your thoughts down:
- Writing is a powerful release. Keep a Journal.
- Imagine writing to the person that did you wrong
- What would you say?
- It can help you confront the person and help you verbalize what you want to say by just writing it all down on paper or in a digital device (email too but don't send it to anyone)
- Writing can help you release your emotions ...so write a letter to them and what you do next is up to you-
- you can burn it
- you can bury it
- you can mail it
- you can re-write it
- you can tear it up and throw it away
Collect your thoughts and emotions. Ask yourself:
- Why do you feel the way you do?
- What can you change in yourself?
- Meaning...
-
- how can you improve your communication skills?
- how can you change your thinking so your emotions are not bothered so much?
- How can you improve what you ask or say to the person that is different?
Lashing out at others...
You have feelings that can get hurt and sometimes it's hard to control those feelings, especially when you are in an emotional moment. All you want to do is lash out at the person that you blame for the cause.
Sometimes we hurt the ones closest to us, probably because friends come and go but family is forever. We tend to treat them worse than friends and co-workers. We know it is wrong but we do it anyways.
Sure, it may feel liberating to lash out and try to hurt someone so they feel as bad as you. Or to hurt the one that hurt you. However, there is a huge downside to this approach. What is the downside? You have damaged you. Technically I could say you damaged them to but frankly, you can't control how others feel. You will likely hurt them as we are all human to emotional outbursts but we really have no control over their reactions. They could laugh it off and it may not bother them a bit. That would be either a backfire on your expectations or a relief to you.
Lashing out at others because of how you feel is only damaging You. You are better than that and you know it. You are a person of integrity whether you believe it or not. In your core soul, you are a good person. The way you handle your thoughts creates feelings. The way you handle your emotions could use some work. I say that because you have an inner knowing that knows better. Your instinct knows better. You just have to pay attention to it and learn how to accept it and act upon it.
Listen to that warning voice in your head. Most often than not, we regret not listening to that voice. It is like a second thought that springs up and subtle raises a red flag that something is wrong and beware. Because it is subtle, I think is the reason why we dismiss it. Fluff it off.
Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda... Have you ever had a run-in, an argument ran uncomfortable confrontation with someone and large you keep reliving the situation and said,
"Oh, I coulda said this..."
"I shoulda said that..."
"Yeah, that woulda been clever, I shoulda done that!..."
"Better still I shoulda done this".."
"I coulda did that..."
"Yes, that woulda set him straight, right?..."
Then your anger is back-up into a boiling point. You're pissed off.
Next thing you know, you are attacking yourself. You rerun the conversation in your head and try to find other ways the conversation could have gone. Your negative thoughts are creating negative actions and guess what that gets? It gets negative reactions and negative circumstances. Once you're in the whirlpool of negativity is very hard to come out of. You self-defeating yourself and on top of that you are treating the ones close to you badly because you feel bad. Misery sure likes company! You get resentment and feel resented.
Not everybody likes to argue and fight. What they tend to do is either fight or flight. They'll shut down. Either way is bad because you aren't communicating in an effective manner.
Lashing out on others is a temporary release with negative after effects.
So, I say once again...Let Your Worst Mood Pass. Try some or all of the exercises above until you are no longer on an emotional roller coaster and until you can think straight.
Once you are calm, then make a decision to move on, confront the situation. Don't put it in your back pocket and save it to use it against that person another day. Deal with it one way or another. Learn from it and grow as a person into the living light of your true self that is under all those layers of thoughts and emotions.
Let your living light shine through even in the darkest moments of your life. Circumstances come and go. The way you deal with them today will be much different in a years time. You will gain inner peace when you don't let outside circumstances take the better of you.
I would love to hear from you.
- What do you know now that you didn't know then?
- What techniques do you do that helps you get through negative situations?
Best Wishes from The Cloud.
Deb
Entrepreneur and Owner of Cloud9 Marketing Online
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