This was a photo was taken last night. It was past seven in the evening and I saw these guys playing at my secret place. (I think this writing everyday thing is like a big exercise in nostalgia for me or a way for me to dump my frustrations and regrets like a big psychological exercise and I'm inviting you all to psychoanalyze me. Exhale.) That was MY Basketball court. I've been planning and wanting to play there for days. I go there every day, walk by, think about shooting a basketball, imagine feeling the tiny dotted surface of sphere made out of rubber and sweat. I even bought a ball. I drive with it wherever I go.

Last night my secret basketball court was occupied by these testosterone-laden creatures. They were playing at MY secret place. This shocking incident made my Repressed Memories burst out from my consciousness. 

When I was in High School, my friends and I played basketball. We wanted to be good. We wanted to be the best team in school. Most of all, we wanted to beat the living shit out of the freshmen and the teams ahead of us. Basketball in Highschool was brutal. There were a lot of scraped knees, faces hit by elbows or knees. There were jeering and tears. I'm sure you get the picture. This was why we wanted to practice. 

Do you know how hard it is for girls to practice basketball in Butuan in the 90s? Very hard. All basketball courts were usually occupied by men (or boys) every day, all day. (Come on dudes. Ya'll short, you'll never play in the Nationals or PBA). We tried to come earlier than them at 4am or 5 (We weren't completely crazy), we'd play freely and happily for a couple of minutes but they'd come and overwhelm us. We had to assert our right to use the basketball court every, and each time. It was stressful. It was giving me wrinkles. This was why I promised myself that if I ever win the lotto I'll buy a huge state- of- the- art gymnasium and allow only girls or girls to play. Take that, invading creatures. 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Btw, thank you, dudes, for making me remember those painful memories. And thanks for reminding me to buy lotto tickets.