It’s tough to know what to say to a friend,family member or colleague who has just lost someone. None of us feel confidentin this situation; we worry that we’ll say or do the wrong thing, and causemore pain, when all we want to do is make the bereaved person feel better.

But it’s important not to shy away simply because we feel awkward and ill-equipped. The best thing we can do is show our love and support to those most closely affected by a death, because we’ll all need this kind of support at some point in our lives. Working in the flower industry means we’re there for the biggest moments in people’s lives, and that includes moments of loss and grief. We’ve drawn on our professional experience to help you find the right way to send your condolences and share your sympathy and love when someone has passed away.

Keep it simple and friendly

What do you write in a sympathy card? Well,we’ve found that keeping it simple is often best. A short, succinct messagewill have more impact than a rambling letter.

We also recommend keeping it friendly andfamiliar. Many people fall back on the classic – ‘I’m sorry for your loss’.While this is fine, it can sound a little formal. Now more than ever, yourfriend needs you to sound like the person they know.

Try adapting some of these examples:

• I’m so sorry.
• Thinking of you and sending loveand hugs.
• I was very sad to hear about yourfather’s passing.

Include happy memories

One of the best ways to show how much you carein your sympathy card is to mention why you admired the deceased, and to sharethe best memories you have of them.

For example:

• Your mother was such a funny,generous person.
• I’ll always remember that terriblejoke he used to tell everyone he met!
• It was a constant joy to see theimmense love she had for you.

Offer practical help

The initial period after a loss can be anoverwhelming time for the bereaved. Think about what kind of help and support you can offerand make it clear that you’re serious about your offer.

If you don’t know what they need, just askthem. The things that will help most might not be what you assume.

Some examples:

• Please let me know what you needhelp with. Anything at all.
• I’d love to drop off and pick thekids up from school for the next few weeks if you’ll let me?
• We’re all here for you at work,don’t worry about a thing. Take as much time off as you need.

Things to avoid

Sometimes we so want to make the bereavedperson feel better that we end up saying the wrong thing. Here are a few tipsfor things to avoid, both in your sympathy card and in person at the funeral:

• Don’t tell them that they’ll feelbetter in time. Right now they can’t imagine that.
• Don’t say you know how they feel,or offer unsolicited advice. Let themgrieve in their own way.
• Don’t talk about how tragic theloss was. They don’t need reminding. Instead focus on supporting them andlistening to how they feel.

Stay in touch

After the funeral, when all the flowers andsympathy cards have stopped coming and everyone else goes back to normal, thebereaved can feel incredibly alone.

Be sure to check in with them regularly, bytext or phone call and continue to offer support. Invite them out for lunch ordrinks – don’t stop including them in socialevents because you assume they won’t want to come.

Also try to remember important dates, such asthe deceased’s birthday or the anniversary of their death, and send flowers ora card to mark the occasion and show that you’re still thinking about them.

A thoughtful gesture can say everything

If you’re struggling to find the right words,don’t worry. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and something is always better thannothing.

Often, just the act of sending a gorgeousbouquet of sympathy flowers, or some chocolates, says everything you want tosay and more.

A thoughtful gesture shows that you care, andreminds your friend that you’re there for them.

Which flowers to send?

With Fig & Bloom you can choose from our flower delivery Melbourne service or flower delivery Sydney service. We offer a range of contemporary arrangements which are perfectly suited as condolences flowers.

We recommend elegant arrangements filled with white and muted hues. But you know your friend best – choose whatever you feel will help lift their spirits.

It can be a good idea to include a vase with your delivery, in order to make things easier for the bereaved, so they can enjoy your thoughtful gift without any fuss.