It's been a while since I have blogged here. A very long time almost an entire year. I am still alive. I am just working very very hard to chance my situation right now. I am a few steps away from finishing my teacher certification. I can almost see the finish line. I am so close I can taste it. I pray I can make it to the end.

I have contemplated quiting school but that wouldn't be prudent. I am so close to finishing. I have had a few stumbling blocks get in my way. I have even had family try to make me fail. I won't give them the satisfaction.

Over the months, I have contemplated moving to another state. I need a fresh start. I place where no one is familiar, no one knows me and my past failures. Start a fresh, a clean slate. I haven't quite decided where I would go though. I have considered moving to the east coast. For a long time I have been feeling like I don't belong. Like I don't quite fit in the place where I currently stand, kind of like a key trying to push itself into the wrong key hole. I am praying that where ever God is trying to send me that he gives me clarity on where I am going.

I still don't have much of a love life. However I have had some interesting "incidents" occur. I had a so called friend of mine try to set me up on a date with her roommate. I told her that I have preferences on the kinds of men I am attracted to. Funny though I never asked her to set me up with anyone. She didn't even ask me if it would be ok with me that she try to set me up with someone she knew. Anyway, I decided against my better judgement to go ahead and meet this person she thought would be a good match for me. Now you have to know my and my personality for what I am about to say. For the majority of my life, I have been the recipient of people's forgotten, leftover and hand me down things as well as throw aways. I am so so so tired of people thinking that I am so pitiful that I would always be receptive to people's unwanted things. I say that to say, I am soooooo sooo unhappy with this so called friend right now. This person was the exact opposite of what I am interested in or attracted to. To top it all off, I discovered that this guy was actually interested in her. She was pushing him off on me so she could get rid of him and according to her and I quote "get him out of her hair". She was not looking out for me at all.

This guy was unattractive, had very very boring conversation and one of my very very very strict pet peeves; he was shorter than I am. I am not trying to sound mean, conceited or hateful. I have issues with my height. I am 30 years old and only 5"2. I am already short. I prefer men to be taller them me. This guy was shorter than me. I was so mad at my friend that when she and this man showed up at my house for and outing I was ready to turn around and go back home. Needless to say, I was not happy at all. I wasn't mad at him or intentionally trying to be mean to him, I was mad at my "friend" for pushing someone on me for her convenience.

I have not given up on finding love or having a stable relationship. I believe God will bless me with the right person. I am in the meantime trying to be patient. I have been struggling in that area a little bit. I want to be in a stable healthy relationship that will not just complete me but be a compliment a happy addition to my life. I know I have a lot of growing to do. So skeletons in my closet to clean out, and some emotional baggage to get rid of before I can truly have that. I am working it it though.

So that's it sports fans, Nothing much to tell right now. I working hard, sleeping less. Praying for a better future and clarity on my journey though life.