Many well-meaning parents are so focused on providing financially for their families that they are absent from too many of the Family moments they work so hard to create. In our culture, it’s easy for parents to overestimate the value of the earning component of parenthood, neglecting to account for how important other facets of parenthood are for a family. They need so much more from us than our paychecks. They need us present, patient, and with a reserve of energy left to be attentive even after a tiring work day.
Work stress can interfere with having enjoyable, quality mommy/daddy time when you clock out. If you take a high-stress position or find yourself working for a supervisor who is constantly berating you, then it will be hard to leave the negativity behind as you step through the front door. You may feel so drained of energy that you don’t feel like talking to your wife or the kids, replacing a friendly parent with one who bursts in the door grunting about dinner and quiet. The grumpy parent may still be recovering on the weekend and find themselves trying to recharge with sleep and TV due to a lack of energy for doing fun family things. As Sunday night rolls around, the tension at home rises as mom or dad dreads returning to the office.
Whatever the salary, no position is a good fit if you’re bringing home this kind of stress. In 2014, one out of three marriages in the US in ended in divorce. Children grow up in the blink of an eye. The key to being a happy parent, with a happy family, is to find a position that plays to your strengths and leaves you with energy for the rest of your life. If this position comes with a dream salary, then you are set. Maybe you are a people person and a Management role will be satisfying for you personally and financially. However, management is not for everyone. If your preferred type of position comes with a decent salary but leaves you looking to earn more, then think outside the box about your options. A person who loves teaching will not necessarily be happy as an administrator. A person who thrives in a sales position may not really be interested in leading a sales team.
Before following the typical career progression, which might include being promoted out of doing what you love, consider the overall price of the promotion. Also seriously consider whether the more senior position will require more or less flexible hours. If possible, take note of how happy others in the management position seem to be and how long they last. If all of the current or past managers seemed to be stressed out or have no life, you are correct to take it as a sign. If the management position seems to be like a revolving door, then it’s a red flag. For a 15-20% pay increase, will you still be doing a job that you like? And if management appeals to you, to what extent does this position interfere with your family life?
