2019-10-25 12:55
I sent this letter to the principal of Kubla’s school:
I wonder what the district is trying to accomplish with last month’s lockdown drills. The day of the drill, I asked K… Read More
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2019-09-27 13:07
The night before the Global Climate Strike, I show Kubla Greta Thunberg’s TED talk. I think it should be required viewing for all parents and school-age children. https://www.ted… Read More
2019-03-15 12:36
“Don’t forget to clear your plate.” Is that really how families want to end dinner? With a chore?
That word, chore—makes me think of Cinderella not being able to go t… Read More
2019-03-08 12:17
I was changing Kubla’s diaper. He was about 9 months old, extra squirmy and entirely unhelpful.
I get frustrated. I try to get him to lie still, which makes him squirm even more.
Later… Read More
2019-02-08 11:41
We return from our walk, mortified to see my mother-in-law letting Kubla play with her saw.
I snatch it from his hands and count all his fingers. A four year old can’t play with a saw!… Read More
2019-01-11 13:02
When Kubla learned to crawl, he would want to join the games of his older cousins. But it’s hard to play soccer with a baby on the field. We needed to find a new game.
So we invented B… Read More
2018-12-28 10:57
Kubla and I have been reading about the Solar System. He’s in a space phase, soaking up astronomical trivia.
One day we’re on the beach, taking a break from swimming.
&ldqu&hell…Read More
2018-12-21 11:29
Kubla loves music. We always have music playing in our home. He loves to find ways to make music with his toys. For awhile, we have a family piano lesson, but it doesn&rsqu&hell…Read More
2018-12-07 09:54
I put Kubla in the baby swing, pushing him gently. I’m a little bored.
After a few minutes, “Kubla, do you want to do something else?”
“More!”
“OK… Read More
2018-11-30 13:12
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. The food and time with friends and family are great, of course. Hearing what the little ones are grateful for always warms my heart. Bu… Read More
2018-10-26 12:32
When Kubla was a toddler, he showed no interest whatsoever in stacking blocks. Knock down blocks—absolutely. Make rockets or dinosaurs with his blocks spread flat on the ground—s… Read More
2018-10-19 12:02
Time for dinner. Kubla is doing his best to ignore me.
“Kubla, I said it’s time for dinner.”
Silence. Another call to the table. He’s in a combative… Read More
2018-10-12 12:15
Touring Kubla’s school, I see a poster in the teacher’s lounge, hidden from the students:
Curiosity is the cure for boredom.
There is no cure for curiosity.
I commit it to memory… Read More
2018-09-28 12:24
Kubla comes back from a playdate. His friend has a potty mouth.
Later that day, Kubla plays with his toy cars. He pushes one off the cliff of our couch. His hand guides its… Read More
2018-09-21 11:35
We check out a couple nearby preschools for Kubla. The playgrounds and classrooms are all pretty similar. The teachers are all equally friendly. Our friends say good things… Read More
2018-09-14 10:24
I sent this letter to the principal of Kubla’s school:
More often than not during pick-up, I see that Kubla hasn’t eaten most of his lunch. I ask him why and he says there… Read More
2018-08-31 10:00
We watch the dolphin show at the aquarium. It’s fun, but a little sad to see such intelligent creatures stuck in a tank they can fully explore in under 30 seconds.
“Hey Kub… Read More
2018-08-24 10:39
I drive Kubla’s friends home from their play date. Their mom doesn’t have a driver’s license. Just a learners permit.
“Is driving hard?” they ask.
… Read More
2018-08-17 11:30
My dad visits once or twice a month. He can’t talk about business or sports with a toddler, so he and Kubla don’t have much to talk about. Kubla cries when my dad tri… Read More
2018-08-10 11:50
“Can we have candy?”
“I think you guys have had enough,” I say.
The p… Read More
2018-07-27 11:57
I see that kid in the park. He starts towards me. I know what comes next. I protect myself as he tries to hit me. It helps that I’m four times his size.
He does… Read More
2018-07-20 09:46
The play date isn’t going well. They fight over toys. One doesn’t want to play the other’s game. It’s time for a change of venue.
When they were tod… Read More
2018-07-13 10:04
Kubla wants to play soldier. The girl he’s playing with wants to play hide and seek. Neither can convince the other. It looks like the play date might need to end ear… Read More
2018-07-06 10:44
Crumbs are all over the floor. A sticky fingered boy starts to walk away.
“Kubla, where do you think you are going? Did you look at the floor?!”
He looks down, not en… Read More
2018-06-29 10:31
We’re at the beach. I’m reading a book. Kubla and his friends are running all over the shore, chasing and splashing and squirting.
A few drops of water fall on my boo… Read More
2018-06-22 10:28
I’m always happy to talk things out. We encourage Kubla to negotiate boundaries. But whining—we do everything we can to stamp it out. Including playing with him… Read More
2018-06-15 09:39
Kubla was 3. He wants to take my medicine, to be like his dad. I say no. I hide the bottle. He always seems moments away from an overdose.
I take an old bottle of vit… Read More
2018-06-01 09:49
Kubla has developed a craving for brownies. The ones at the store are full of sugar and chemicals. I decide to make a healthier version at home.
I look up a recipe online. … Read More
2018-05-25 11:42
Kubla goes to a friend’s house for a play date. They invite him to stay for dinner. The second he comes home, he asks for a snack.
“A snack? Didn’t you just have dinner?&rd&hell…Read More
2018-05-18 09:47
I like to lift weights at home. It saves me a trip to the gym. Three year old Kubla wants to help. I’m afraid he’s going to get crushed by a dumbbell.
Liping tries to keep him aw… Read More
2018-05-04 11:54
After weeks of trying, Kubla makes it across the monkey bars all by himself. He does it again. And again. And again.
The next day he’s back on the monkey bars, gaining speed and confid… Read More
2018-04-27 12:47
The fight ends. We each go to our corners. Bruised feelings all around.
A few minutes later we’re ready to reconnect.
I invite Kubla to sit in my lap. We hug.
“Who’s my fav… Read More
2018-04-20 12:31
I encourage small children to say ‘no’ and be naughty. I find that when they get the “no’s” out of their system, they feel less of a need to act up later. And t… Read More
2018-04-06 10:51
Kubla won’t brush his teeth. Again.
We try to make it fun. We sing a brushing song. It works for a couple days, until it doesn’t.
We try to threaten him—“Kubla, no st… Read More
2018-03-30 10:30
Kubla loves superheroes. We like to make up our own, each with their own special powers and back story.
Kubla likes being Rabbitman. He was bitten by a radioactive rabbit. He can jump really… Read More
2018-03-23 12:45
Kubla’s friend introduces him to some garbage on YouTube—Violence. Foul language. Women acting like no real person I’ve ever met.
He comes home and wants to watch it again… Read More
2018-03-09 10:00
Kubla and I are walking in the park. He’s starting to dawdle. He looks bored. I pretend my phone is ringing and answer it. I make like I’m listening.
“Kubla, it’s tha… Read More
2018-03-02 10:43
Kubla won’t read his primer. He can’t play video games again until he finishes two pages.
“It’s too hard,” he whines. “It’s so boring!”
I off… Read More
2018-02-23 10:32
I take Kubla with me to the grocery store. We get to the checkout line. I see three people in line in front of me. Kubla greedily eyes the candy deviously displayed at 4-ye… Read More
2018-02-09 11:43
Liping grew up in rural China. Like everyone else she knew, Chinese New Year was the best time of year. The one time a year she got new clothes. The one time a year she got to eat meat, d… Read More
2018-02-02 12:46
It’s time for Kubla’s annual check-up. He won’t go. No way are they going to stick him this time.
We’ve missed our appointment by the time the tantrum subsides. I… Read More
2018-01-26 10:33
The last few days, Kubla makes a new friend on the playground. We like the parents, too. They invite our family over for dinner.
They live on a 3rd floor walk-up. The kids are a little ti… Read More
2018-01-19 10:35
Kubla is learning to ice-skate. He hobbles back from the first class with bruised knees.
I give him a little hug. “What happened? Did you have fun?”
“Yeah, but I fell.&rdq&hell…Read More
2018-01-12 10:06
We seem to be having a good time. Until we aren’t anymore. We’re halfway through the 3rd story book. The cuddling is over. He covers the words with his hands so I can’t… Read More
2018-01-05 11:06
Kubla chases the ball. He falls. He scrapes his knee. Tears. Kisses. A band-aid. He’s not quite ready to rejoin the action.
“Kubla, do you know what kind of kids never get hurt?… Read More
2017-12-29 11:40
Kubla and I finish watching the movie, The Little Prince. We had recently read the book together, too. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s a new story that takes place when the… Read More
2017-12-22 10:31
Kubla invites a friend to our home after school. They have a great time. I don’t.
His friend is disrespectful. He doesn’t listen. He’s loud. He makes a mess.
His mom c… Read More
2017-12-08 11:40
Our family invented our own special kiss. For bedtime. After a fight. Any time we want to feel extra close.
Kubla and Liping both kiss my face at the same time.
Then Kubla and I both ki… Read More
2017-12-01 10:30
The toddler play date is getting a little heated. I scoop Kubla up and take him away from the action before things spiral out of control.
He cries, “The other boy isn’t sharing!… Read More
2017-11-24 10:30
“Kubla, please turn off the TV and come to bed.”
TV induced zombie silence.
“Kubla, I’m going to turn off the TV in 5 seconds.”
Five seconds pass. I turn off th… Read More
2017-11-17 09:47
Kubla won’t fold the laundry. I sit down with him and fold a couple shirts. He plays with his socks.
“Kubla, would you please help fold the clothes?”
“Don’t… Read More
2017-11-10 12:03
Kubla is 19 months old. Bubbles. Warm water. Rubber duckies. What could be better? Bath time with his beloved Mom.
He poops all over the tub. Bath time is suddenly over. What happened?
The n… Read More
2017-10-27 09:33
Kubla used to have bad dreams a couple times a month. One night he dreamed he was all alone and couldn’t find me or Liping. The next night he was afraid to go to sleep. He found eve… Read More
2017-10-20 09:35
Kubla was the star of every book we read as a toddler. Other family members made cameo appearances.
Curious Kubla and his friend the Dad in the Yellow Hat is his favorite series.
He loves sc… Read More
2017-10-13 09:36
Kubla and I go to the Natural History museum. He wants a toy from the dinosaur exhibit gift shop.
At dinner the night before, we talk about a foreign mining disaster in the news. Dozens… Read More
2017-10-06 07:49
My niece is no damsel in distress, looking pretty as she waits to be saved by some prince. Ever since she was a baby, she’s been a queen. What’s the difference? Let my brother… Read More
2017-09-22 10:01
It’s time to introduce Kubla to some thinking games. Chess, checkers, Connect Four.
I teach him the rules. We play a few games. I warn him what I’ll do next if he makes this m… Read More
2017-09-15 11:10
My nephew is four years old. His preschool class is playing duck, duck, goose. He’s younger and smaller than the other kids. Try as he might, he can’t run around the circle fast… Read More
2017-09-08 11:39
There’s an old Samurai saying—Die before going into battle—the idea is to accept death so you can fight without fear.
Kubla and I go to the beach. In less than 30 seconds… Read More
2017-09-01 09:46
I had been teaching Kubla to swim for 2 years. We spent lots of time at the pool and beach, but he just wouldn’t put his face in the water.
He did get very adept paddling around wit… Read More
2017-08-25 06:53
Kubla’s friend is being difficult. The playdate isn’t going well. I pull Kubla off to the side.
“He’s ruining the game.” he whines to me.
“What did you… Read More
2017-08-11 10:11
Kubla and I are playing in the park. The big kids, 4th graders, are in the basketball court. We smell trouble in the air. Kubla edges closer so he can overhear their conversation.
“… Read More
2017-08-04 09:34
Kubla is afraid to enter the dark room. He wants me to go in first.
“Kubla, just use your powers to light up the room.”
He looks at me, not sure what to do.
I enter the room wit… Read More
2017-07-28 07:45
Kubla had been training to be a hero for weeks. He was ready to unleash his powers on the playground.
His friends, a brother and sister, are on the slide. Kubla joins their play. After a… Read More
2017-07-21 10:40
I pick up Kubla and his friend from preschool. His friend is a little sad. Something happened at school. Turns out another boy was excluding him.
“Kubla, what did you do when your… Read More
2017-07-07 11:13
After preschool, Kubla’s nanny often took him to play with an older neighborhood boy.
I start to hear stories about this boy, how he teases Kubla, calling him a toddler, trying to ma… Read More
2017-06-30 10:40
Kubla didn’t want to go to preschool. He missed Liping too much.
I wait for him to stop crying and calm down. I pretend to fish for something in my pocket.
“I know it’s i… Read More
2017-06-23 10:51
After a week of superhero training, Kubla is ready to go on patrol.
He puts on his costume—mask, cape, super-serious crime-fighting face, Batman onesie.
We start walking around the blo… Read More
2017-06-16 10:23
Kubla is ready to become a hero. He’s ready to begin his training.
“Do the Avengers fight bad guys all day?”
“No, the battles only last a few minutes.”
“… Read More
2017-06-09 11:29
Three playdates in a row, Kubla bossed and bullied his friend. It wasn’t abating. He needed a positive outlet for his need to control.
After the playdate I take him aside. “Kubla… Read More
2017-06-02 10:36
For years I have admired the work of best-selling Parenting Author Richard Eyre. This week Richard generously shares with our readers what parenting tools he’s been working on lately… Read More
2017-05-26 19:26
Like many boys, Kubla hated learning to read. He would walk on hot coals to get out of reading practice.
Like many boys, Kubla loves video games. He would eat hot coals to get time in fron… Read More
2017-05-22 13:47
Most of us receive training and coaching to be better in our careers. For sports and hobbies, too. But apart from reading the occasional book, or unsolicited advice from our own parents, who… Read More
2017-05-12 12:23
When Kubla was 4, he loved watching YouTube videos. And his favorite type of video was Toy Reviews—grown men explaining what was so great about their classic toy collections.
I don&rs&hell…Read More
2017-05-05 08:45
We’re watching birds fly. They look so free and beautiful.
“Why can’t you fly, Kubla? You’d be so much better if you could fly.”
“I don’t have wings… Read More
2017-04-28 11:48
When Kubla was a baby I set up an email address in his name so I could send messages on his behalf to friends and family. Here are some samples.
Mama,
I want to tell you how much fun I had… Read More
2017-04-21 10:44
Kubla pops another marshmallow into his mouth. It’s his third.
“Kubla, stop. That’s disgusting.”
His face falls a little.
“But can I tell you a secret? Wh… Read More
2017-04-14 12:30
Every morning since Kubla was two, we open the window shade together as I ask “I wonder what kind of a beautiful day it is today?”
Sometimes it’s a beautiful sunny day. So… Read More
2017-04-07 07:19
In our family we try to avoid dumb rules. Drools, we call them.
I love making up silly rules. Kubla loves breaking them.
I tickle Kubla. He dissolves into giggles. He starts to tickl… Read More
2017-03-31 09:55
Kubla usually doesn’t have trouble turning off the TV.
It’s a challenge to peel him away from YouTube videos.
God help the poor soul who tries to take a smartphone out of his han… Read More
2017-03-24 06:04
It was vacation. We were staying with Kubla’s cousins for the week. All the big kids wanted to do was play video games on the computer. It was the first time he had seen computer ga… Read More
2017-03-17 05:55
Kubla and I love Japanese monster movies. Ultraman, Godzilla, and Mothra all have pride of place in his imagination. We’ve whiled away many an afternoon battling monsters—he&rs&hell…Read More
2017-03-10 10:33
When Kubla was two years old, he thought the words for ‘Open it’ were ‘Try harder’. He would hand me a jar to open. I would hand it back and say try harder. He would… Read More
2017-03-03 07:21
When Kubla was a toddler, letters and numbers didn’t told his attention. But did he ever love real tools and toy cars.
I couldn’t get him to stop playing with my screwdriver set… Read More
2017-02-24 09:51
I was straightening up my office supplies. Kubla puts down his toy and comes closer.
“What’s that?”
“A laser drum.”
“A laser drum!?” His eyes pop o… Read More
2017-02-17 08:42
Our Sweet Token experiment was working wonderfully—for about 3 hours.
“I want another cookie.”
“Do you have a sweet token?”
“No, I already used them both… Read More
2017-02-10 08:43
Octavia Octopus and her fishy friends escape the hungry shark. The End. I put down the book.
“That’s the saddest story I’ve ever heard,” I say. “That poor, h… Read More
2017-02-03 12:11
We were having fun together all afternoon.
Then over the course of 5 minutes, for no obvious reason, my adorable playmate turns into a little monster.
He throws toys. He makes loud, annoyin… Read More
2017-01-27 11:51
His last couple weeks in preschool, Kubla showed an avid interest in reading. He would spell out the letters on signs, license plates, anything. I declared this would be the summer he lear… Read More
2017-01-20 11:47
Kubla and his friends are watching a movie on Netflix. The connection is a little ropey. It keeps starting and stopping. The natives grow restless.
The movie stops again.
“Kubla, st… Read More
2017-01-13 11:47
It finally stopped raining. The sun warmed the playground. Someone brought popsicles.
The kids finish their popsicles. They stir the muddy puddles with the naked sticks, making whirlpools… Read More
2017-01-06 11:52
Kubla was waiting in line for the swing. The other kid just wouldn’t get off.
He asks politely if he could have a turn. The other kid ignores him. I try to convince my boy to do the… Read More
2016-12-30 10:55
Like most babies, Kubla loved to drop things and make me pick them up. Like most parents, I quickly got tired of being a baby’s marionette.
One day I decide to change the game.
Kub… Read More
2016-12-23 07:37
When Kubla and I go to the park to play, we both go to the park to play. I don’t just tag along to keep him safe. I play with him and his friends (tag has an entirely different meani… Read More
2016-12-16 09:15
As a toddler Kubla was very attached to Liping. He couldn’t bear to be away from her.
Kubla and I are playing with blocks. I hear the dreaded question,“Where’s Mom?&rdquo&hell…Read More
2016-12-09 10:41
Kubla had been watching TV for too long.
“Kubla, will you play with me?”
“I want to watch TV.”
“Don’t you want to play with toys?”
“No, I ju… Read More
2016-12-02 06:01
My tween niece enters our house with her family. She doesn’t look up. She doesn’t say hello. She’s a slave to her phone.
I pull out my phone and text her. Welcome 2 R h… Read More
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