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January Is A Karma Test. Don't Screw Up.
2013-10-08 23:01
It's a new year. Time to resolve all those pesky problems that plagued you last year: weight, alcohol intake (wine counts. Your teeth should not look like you made out with Grimace... everyd… Read More
2013-10-08 22:57
It's been a while, but let's skip the "where have you been?" and the "I know you don't have anything better to do with your time other than write hilarious anecdotes about your mom and your… Read More
2012-02-04 20:21
I would just like to let my readers know that one of the traffic sources to my blog is whoresex.com. I don't know who you are, but I am pretty sure you were disappointed when you clicked on… Read More
2012-02-04 20:16
There has been this stench wafting from our refrigerator for days. I cannot explain it. It's like garlic and onion, mixed with mustard. But this house of two is a professional microwaving ho… Read More
2012-01-06 05:11
More likely than not, you remember my healthy obsession with the Bachelor. Baby just want a rose and a man who does montage push-ups. Montage push-ups. Heeeeeeeey. Enough of that. Well, you… Read More
I Passed The Bar
2011-11-20 01:07
*11/19/11 edit: I passed the Bar and when I found out I did pretty much everything but vomit. I cried, I shook like Jesus was remove-en the sin from muh body, I screamed, and then I bit my m… Read More
Sometimes Your Vagina Is Going To Burn
2011-11-18 18:11
Evening of Day 7 -  Michael: Everyone! Listen up! Okay. So, I have some advice for tomorrow. First, do not shave ANYTHING. You will burn. Second, MEN, I recommend that you wear a condom… Read More
A Onsieless Wedding
2011-11-16 17:56
Danielle and Jon, this post is dedicated to you, mainly because it was your wedding and it would be selfish to dedicate this post to pictures of me in onesies. Nonetheless, here's one for th… Read More

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