Time: 8:55 AM

Tan Tana Tan Tan Tan Taraa – my Phone started ringing for 10^th time or so, made me wake up with a splitting headache. Who is this pls?, I asked with a sleepy tone.

“ Bro,  That was quite a MESS you did last night – it’s all over net now, super viral, jeeezz”, anxious and loud voice from the other end.

I was stunned for a moment. All that laziness and sleepy mode vanished and I replied in no time, “But what did I do??”

There was utter silence from the other side. Followed by a call disconnect.  I stood on my bed and jumped onto the floor.  My mind started pacing asking myself thousands of questions – but the top of it is – What did I really do that messed up last night. There is a reason why this is running in my mind like this – This is not the first time.

I had my messing up time at parties, top of which, me and my gang of totally drunk male colleagues dropped our pants totally and did a group ass move and I was part of it, top of it, I have shot it and uploaded on our company’s whatsapp group – with a Message – Boss ji tussi great ho!!!.

That went like a wild fire in the company. We, the group got almost fired and luckily saved with huge incentive cut, as the party was being planned for our million dollar account, which was brought by me. Lucky ass I was that time.

Not this time any more – my head started rotating. I paced towards coffee maker in the kitchen for a quick espresso shot to make myself normal, but possibilities of last night’s nightmare started following me.

I called that guy again. His phone is switched off.

I wanted to call my friend – Sachdev, to figure out what could have happened.  He is always on my hot dial list. Damn!! His phone is not reachable, which added to my fears.

I resisted myself to check my whatsapp and FB. I don’t want to. I switched off mobile network instantly, closing my eyes, when I am doing that, so not to spot any notifications. I will literally shat in my pants if I see any shocking responses from my boss. Last night was an office party again. And my boss literally warned me before stepping for any mis creative work from my end.

“Any wrong move from your end, you will ruin your career with your own hands!!!”, my boss said this to me.

Finished two cups of espresso, it is not doing any favour, but I got one idea. To send an apology message to all of those who attended the party.

My boss, his boss, Tina – my Boss EA, Mukherjee and his team, my team – all 18 members.

Dear All, I know I messed up again last night. I was on my limits, till when Suraj came up with a crazy idea of Bottoms Up Bourbon. I won the challenge but lost myself completely.  Then my fav song – Chalti hai kya 9 se 12 was playing by DJ and I saw u all dancing. I thought myself like Varun Dhawan and went dancing ahead and started smacking Suraj’s ass, rhythmically. After a while, to my horror,  it is Mrs Patel, our respective boss’s wife.  She couldn’t identify in the group by the time, she started looking around, and I sneaked towards the men’s room and started clearing my tummy with a vomit sounding like a Godzilla. Adding to the horror, it was women’s washroom. By the time, the ladies inside the toilets figured that there is a man inside their zone, there was a power cut. They didn’t identify my face. I left that place, with screams from behind.

In the next 2 minutes, the power came back, I was right in the Men’s washroom and this time I did everything well, puked, washed my face and then wiped my face with a thick cloth, as there are no tissues. It was a coat of man and by the time, he figured that his coat is full of vomit and try to catch me and identify my face; I already stepped into the crowd.

With a scare that this will become a big scene, I tried to run away from the venue. I got into the parking spot, as there is no security at valet parking desk, I hurriedly looked for my keys, grabbing a bunch of keys, picked mine and threw all of them there, I think something fell down to the hole nearby.

I spotted my car and got into it with the thought of not creating any trouble to you. I started the car and put the first gear and looking back I drove. I smashed the tail lights of the front car. Then I corrected myself, kept the reverse gear, looking forward, I proceed backwards. I smashed into the yellow Lamborghini. Guess that of our boss’s.

I thought If I am here around any more time, I will kept on bbq menu for later tonight. Somehow I left with tons of guilt and frustration that I have disappointed you. Apologies once again.

I texted this long message and sent everyone.  I know that these days SMS is the last thing anyone wants to respond. That gives them sometime to understand my situation and accept my apology.

I still don’t have guts to open my whatsapp to check my messages.

For the last time, I have decided to try the number, which wakes me up. This time it is ringing.

After 3 rings, the guy picked the call. Heloooo!! The voice that side was so relaxing and here I am in shit!!

“Dude, how did you that I did that mess last night, Did you shoot it??”, I asked him.

“A what, Hey!!!, No….Hang on Gimme a moment, well, dude, I was supposed to call my friend and I thought I called you, wrong dial dude. Oops, Sorry and THAT WAS QUITE A MESS YOU DID LAST NIGHT, is our new rock song, we have uploaded last on youtube, check out when time dude, sorry again.”, voice from the other side with same cool ness.

“But why is your phone switched off, I was trying to reaching you like 50 times.”, I asked.

“Dude, Kya boluu, I was in a party last night which went till 4. One bastard puked on my phone in the washroom, scumbag!! Phone started acting weird since then. It is getting switched off every now and then. Ciao”, the call got disconnected.

For a moment, I was relaxed that’s not my mess-up. Then, Ouch!!!, I have sent that message.

I shot in my own leg!!

I take a deep breath and composed myself and sent one message to everyone.

“Well, I am sure, you are all shocked by my message, but that was dream, when I fell down after I had that Bourbon and slept for hours. I recollected all thoughts and put like this crazy story. Heyy,… I am a writer…!!!

Time: 9:15 AM

Messages started pouring in!!

Boss – So you are the one, who smacked my wife’s ass. I had to take her to the hospital, as she complained of red boils on her’s.

Mukherjee – I was thinking that security guy lost the keys and I have literally beaten him.

Boss  – The guy, who against you wiped your face is our new client from Singapore – Edward

Suraj – I was not there in the party at all, why do you bring me to this mess??

Boss  –   Meet me at 11, not at the office, but at Lamborghini store. You gotta pay the bills and then we will go to the office, then I will give your letter – the Pink one!!

Time: 9:18 AM

I opened my whatsapp and there were no messages from anyone since morning, just a normal Fyi, good morning jokes, couple of messages – Dude, why did you leave early from the party ? – Health is OK? Missed you ? XOXO messages.

None figured that the cyclone of a mess was done by me until I messed it up by opening the lid. Shitt!!!!!!

Time – 9 something or 10 something or is some time something

I collapsed onto the floor and went numb. Phone kept ringing….