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facebook-derived anger

anger: an emotion I felt very infrequently, prior to this semester

I blame Facebook

it’s mostly just me seeing posts on Facebook that involve my ex boyfriend and then I’m like fuck him and then I’m like this makes me angry lol

I’m highly conflicted about his existence because we were fine for like a week and then he started being weird to me again and I’m like ok cool cool cool Tight Tight tight

also conflicted because his girlfriend(?)/best friend is a lovely human and I genuinely like her a lot as a person lol she doesn’t deserve him

I also wish it didn’t seem so Passive Aggressive when I like her stuff on Facebook, I genuinely like her as a person even though he’s a dick

like she just updated her profile pic to a polaroid pic of the two of them and honestly it’s such a cute picture I couldn’t not like it but I know that he’s gonna see it and use it as an excuse to continue being passive aggressive towards me but w h a t e v e r

and lately I’ve been having flashbacks to when we had sex and I know it wasn’t a big deal but also I’m a fetus and I’m okay with what I did but also it makes me dangerously nauseous to think about now and I legitimately threw up yesterday morning from thinking about it so that’s good

I also have felt 0 sexual desire since we broke up, and I don’t know if that’s just because there hasn’t been anyone I’m interested in or what but like literally I don’t even want to get myself off, haven’t done that once since February

it’s april

I have no drive at all and it’s not because I’m depressed because I’m not depressed or anxious really either (but I’m going back to the psychiatrist today so I guess we’ll say what she has to say about things)

idk

kind of frustrating but also I guess it doesn’t matter because it’s one less thing I have to worry about but I just hate so much how upset it makes me to think about what we did. it was a good experience at the time I just think how he handled everything post breakup  made my stomach very upset lol

whatever!!

I have no patience for this childish behavior!!

brb tho I’m gonna go keep scrolling through Facebook until I see something that makes me angry

~




This post first appeared on Blve Shade, please read the originial post: here

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facebook-derived anger

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