6 November: The day I was discharged from mental health services
after a year and a half in weekly therapy, weeks of taking antidepressants and many tears later im finally discharged. and yes one month later and its been crazy. in just a month i can quite honestly say ive lived. i caught a train by myself to see my best friend, i got a new job, ive gone to parties, ive met new people and i felt happy and when i didn't i went about it in a healthy way.
this last year has been one i wont forget. its fair to say that ive had my moments and its come to the point where perhaps i wouldn't see Christmas this year.
but i have and im so proud to say that.
I guess quite a lot has changed in my life really. I've made the most incredible friends and met so many inspirational people and my god this year has been wonderful it really as and now im finally 18. just wow.
ive been of this planet for the last 18 years and my god i feel blessed to be alive.
2018.
the year where i hope i finally will be able to make my dreams happen so as someone who hates the term news years resolution because i don't stick to them for longer than a week i find the term goal so much more achievable.
after a year and a half in weekly therapy, weeks of taking antidepressants and many tears later im finally discharged. and yes one month later and its been crazy. in just a month i can quite honestly say ive lived. i caught a train by myself to see my best friend, i got a new job, ive gone to parties, ive met new people and i felt happy and when i didn't i went about it in a healthy way.
this last year has been one i wont forget. its fair to say that ive had my moments and its come to the point where perhaps i wouldn't see Christmas this year.
but i have and im so proud to say that.
I guess quite a lot has changed in my life really. I've made the most incredible friends and met so many inspirational people and my god this year has been wonderful it really as and now im finally 18. just wow.
ive been of this planet for the last 18 years and my god i feel blessed to be alive.
2018.
the year where i hope i finally will be able to make my dreams happen so as someone who hates the term news years resolution because i don't stick to them for longer than a week i find the term goal so much more achievable.
goal number 1: finally learn how to drive and pass my theory test finally, and be able to return all the lifts that my parents give me to go anywhere.
goal number 2: live a little more. live the life that i put off for so long, i want to breathe and laugh until my body aches, appreciate the time i Spend with those who im blessed with in life and stop trying to hard all the time and planning for next week or next year. i want to live the year going wherever life takes me and whatever that may be.
goal number 3: give blood. i guess its something ive always wanted to do and just by taking a bit out of time out of my day may save someone else life and for me that's important.
goal number 4: blog more and actually finish them in a day and not spend months writing one single post.
goal number 5: just simply appreciate life and not spend it constantly feeling the need to update social media or validating myself.
but im fortunate for everything 2017 has taught me and making me for the women i am now.
my book: coming back from depression
last year i found myself inspired to book, so i started and since ive found myself captured in my own writing. since i have kept quiet about if for a while now and many of you have been asking questions about whats it is about and could i share an extract i thought since its the end of 2017 i would show some of my years work!
I’m someone who has struggled I and I still to this day keep so many things to myself but it didn’t take me very long from being told how extreme I was depressed and all the things that came with it to realise my problem was affecting the way I was living. A lot of mornings I never wanted to get out of bed, I kept the head low at school and was just a miserable human being and people used to comment like just cheer up or ask what was wrong and when I said I was having one of my lower days give me what I perceived to be a dirty look. Even today then do but I pay very little attention to it because half of them have no idea of my story or how hard it is to do just a little thing like breathe each day. But I believe a significant point to reach at some point is to realise that no label can define you. People can call you fat or depressed or messed up but that is just there perception. It doesn’t mean it’s real. That’s something you have to decide yourself, I’m not saying you have a complete choice but you do have the option to help yourself instead of being dragged down. On the 15th February 2016 I came across the quote that will stick with me. I know that date because that was the date I shared it online.
“You were never created to be depressed. Defeated. Guilty. Condemned. Ashamed or unworthy. You were created to be victorious”.
“I know it’s hard to get out of bed when you don’t want to live. I know it’s hard to go on with your regular day when you don’t see the point anymore. I know its hard smiling when you want to cry. But I swear to you that these days of restlessness and sadness and pain will be over & they will not matter anymore. You will crave the sunlight and laughing every second because you will remember how it feels to be happy again. Truly, genuinely, madly happy”
here is a few highlights of my year...
| happy new year guys! |
