Hello there! I thank you for waiting for this post, it was really hot on Sunday and I didn’t want to get heatstroke on my way to the library – as my house doesn’t have Wi-Fi (I Kinda Suck, sorry)…
So, in my last post, Being Single In High School: Part #1, I wrote about being single in a nest of lovebirds – a.k.a high School. Recap: I can’t quite squeeze my way into the dating scene because I’ve got an awkward vibe about me, but I’ve got more important things to worry about instead of boys – like school, future career, my blog, etc. Even though I say that, I think about relationships and love all the time. In fact, I think about things like that frequently throughout the day. But hey, who doesn’t? Whether you have a significant other, are going through a breakup or, like me, are just cruising and kinda enjoying single life – love is something most of us think about constantly. Why not? Love brings us joy, excitement, comfort, security, a sense of belonging, and sometimes even a small dose of madness!
However, while loving someone (and having it reciprocated) can give us/amplify these things, you need to make sure you have a good amount of joy, excitement, security, etc. already in your life, so that you don’t have to rely or look forward to a person – who may or may not be there for very long anyway. What I’m trying to say is, that finding a partner will only enhance your life, but you need to build up everything so that it’s not the be-all-end-all if/when they leave. That person can’t be fully held responsible for making you happy, exciting you, buying you things, or keeping you satisfied (if you know what I mean ;)). By the way, you probably shouldn’t listen to my advice because I’ve never even remotely been in a relationship before, but I like to ramble on and share my thoughts on everything because I think other people care… ANYWAY, here’s how I deal with the boyless blues.
- I find my happy places (that don’t include a love interest).
I have 4 happy places –
My bedroom, where it’s quiet and private. I love cuddling up to my doona (when it’s not too hot) with a cup of tea/hot chocolate, lighting a candle, playing my guitar and eventually falling asleep… it’s so lovely.
The school library, where I’ve got friends who walk in and out and sit with me while I’m nose-deep into a book, but respect the fact that I probably have like, 2 books until I finish the series. I just get absorbed into the story, until it’s time to go back to class. I just find it peaceful, and even though I’m not completely alone, it’s like I know I’m making an attempt at being around people.
When I’m performing. It could be singing, a speech/skit, playing in a band or ensemble, anything that requires me to entertain people. The feeling I get in my chest when I ease into something I’ve worked hard on leading up to that moment, the nervous butterflies in my stomach before I got on stage, the adrenaline rush during, the high afterwards. It’s almost like a drug (or how I’d imagine because I’ve never used any drugs before), I just feel like I’m sharing a part of myself with the audience and that people get to see me in a different light.
When I’m busy. This isn’t really a place, but more like a state. When my schedule is full of productive things to do, I feel accomplished and hard-working because I’m usually a procrastinator (but I’m trying my hardest to break that habit!)
- I accept that [me] being single is not a one sided thing.
I could sit here all day and accuse boys at my school for thinking I’m ugly, for avoiding me because they think I’m prude, or for simply not even trying. The harder part is accepting that, yeah, I don’t really actively look for a boyfriend, that I usually only get crushes on people like celebrities or guys in an unattainable position (usually much older or because of their job), and I kinda suck at communicating. But, never fear!
This isn’t a ticket for me to pity/ feel bad about myself, these are things I could work on. Maybe I could get used to the idea of flirting and hanging out with more boys. Perhaps I could try and get my point across in a different way. There’s always room for improvement with me – but I’ll get there!
- I have fun!
I’m not going to be 15 forever, so I’m not going to sit and pout about my lack of a relationship! I try and organise things with friends like sleepovers, lunch dates, movie marathons… I always feel good after having fun with my mates.
I also do things like write draft blog posts, do my makeup, go shopping, read, have an impromptu dance party, draw, write a song, and SING! Singing is one of my greatest passions, and I’m just so glad that I don’t get roasted by my family for sounding like a chimpanzee.
How do you distract yourself from single life/anything crappy in life related? Do you have a happy place? How do you have fun? Let me know in the comments!
Have a lovely day, all the love,
Kylee xox
