It's been half a year I've abandoned my blogs. To be honest I was quite lazy and lost the passion and initial purpose for blogging, so instead of uploading bad quality contents, I thought of stopping for a while until I get a grip. (Wow great excuse you got there Zac)
On today's blog, I would like to mention about the major change that I've undergone for the past six moths. I've kinda shifted a lot of my perspective in viewing things. To make it simpler to understand, the end result is, I've gotten a lot happier than I was last year. As you guys may know, I am a really emotional person especially on the aspect of relationships – friendships, family and love, you name it. I've got hurt by friends in the past, and I kept on linger on those scars instead of moving out from them. I should not have trusted and relied fully on my friends thereafter, but my heart went against my mind. I've once again (or even twice and thrice again) got hurt after that.
This year, I was arranged to different class with my other intimidate friends. This had got me packed out from my Comfort Zone, and sought other types of friends I came across. My relationship with my other good friends didn't rust even a little bit, but sometimes when they talk about matters of their own class, I just couldn't blend in. I understand this is part of the effects of being in different classes, and they can hear about my stories as well, so I didn't care much about it.
On the other hand, the thing that made me change was the leaving of my best friend. We were very close last time – we talked about anything that came up to our minds, be it problems or just random talks. We could stay in a restaurant for hours just because we had so much to talk about. The topics were unending, so was our saliva. Whenever one party was under the weather, the other party would definitely go and Comfort. Occasionally, we would not tell each other about it, because some problems are much more suitable for another person to listen to, but we know that the other party will certainly be there for each other. We often had small arguments, but we reconciled a while after. This proved how firm our friendship foundation is. My whole family knows about him too as he always came to overnight at my house and kept on chatting with my mother. Yes, he is just that talkative.
Things went ill this year as both of us couldn't stand some part of each others' personality anymore. His view on love and the way he handles it really did piss me off a lot of times, and my ways of expressing myself, holding my temper and being jealous of small little things didn't amaze him any further either. These were always the viruses inside attacking our friendship, and now the viruses took over. We got distant and really terrible news was, we became strangers. We didn't even talk with each other during gatherings. I even remember once we saw each other, we waved lightly, and projected a very awkward smile to each other.
Yup, things could be the complete opposite in a year, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes or even seconds. I don't know if he misses the past or not, but it's inevitable that I do miss him a lot. I hope to reconcile, but I know it's just impossible. A lot of times I got emotional over the loss of him in my life, because it seems as though one great pillar was gone. I'm certain he still has many pillars strong and firm, and that's one thing I envy of.
I moved on, but still think of him a lot. I guess his loss made me realise that friends aren't forever. It's all thanks to him I left the comfort Zone and woke up from the mistake of only relying fully on one person. But should you ask me if I want to go back to the past, I wouldn't even think of saying no.
