#1 Staring Contest
A fun thing to do, especially if you're the only one who knows you're having a staring contest. Just pick one Student and stare intently at him or her. And watch him/her get totally weirded out! The fun thing is you can tell by their reactions if they are nice, bad, or just plain braindead. I usually pick the sneaky ones, and them watch them worm on their chair, or try and hide behind others. Or pick the quiet ones and see the sweat pour! Just be careful of the drama queens or loudmouth princesses. Those will either start asking questions loudly, or just blow their fuse and create a vortex of anger and incoherent blabber. You might also want to stear clear of students who show waaaaaaaaayyyy to much skin, as a staring contest might be interpreted as something else which most school boards and most soccer moms frown upon.
#2 the yes/no headbob switch.
Wanna figure out if the person standing in front of you has any braincells left to scramble? Here's a fun way to do it. When that person asks you a yes/no question (can I go to the bathroom please?), answer verbally but bob your head with the opposite gesture, so if you say yes, gesture no with your head. Tons of fun!!! Watch them try and figure out what to do, while just standing there like a brussells sprout. It's the classic "caught in headlights" look for most, as some will just start laughing nervously. The really fun ones are those who actually get pissed (pardon the pun) and lose their cool. You can try and switch your response for added hilarity (switch both gesture and verbal response as to be always opposite). Finally, if you really want to them to call a headshrink, just answer whatever random word that comes to your mind. I use "roastbeef" or "Napoleon Bonapart". You'll either get a reputation for being completely nuts (medical term being "offyourrockersaitis") or just slightly mad, but not too bad when medicated. Either way, you'll get their attention next time they come into class, and they'll definitely stop asking stupid questions!
#3 The Final Countdown
This one actually gets them thinking about something else other than Britney or how to be more bootylicious. Look around the class and just randomly start writing bars on a piece of paper, as if you were Counting something. Just make sure a few students see you do this. When they start asking questions about it, be as vague as possible. Usually, I reply "I'm just counting something"and that sends them into a frenzy for a couple of minutes. Just look around at everyone, and from time to time, put another bar on your sheet. Try and write A LOT of bars. After a couple of minutes, they'll start looking around to find what you're counting, and when they can't fgure out what, they'll actually shut up and wait!! That's because, in most kids' brain, the thought process automatically goes into damage control or sneaky mode, and they'll think you're counting idiot behavior or those students who are not working as they should. So as not to be counted, they'll actually start acting appropriately!!! In some cases, the group actually started acting up in a weird way, in which case you should storm out of the classroom acting really mad and (bring the sheet with the countdown on it) say something like "that's it!!! the principal will deal with this now!!! I have proof right here!!! Scares the shiat out of them!! When you'l return in a couple of minutes, they'll be reeeaaalllll quiet, I promise!
A fun thing to do, especially if you're the only one who knows you're having a staring contest. Just pick one Student and stare intently at him or her. And watch him/her get totally weirded out! The fun thing is you can tell by their reactions if they are nice, bad, or just plain braindead. I usually pick the sneaky ones, and them watch them worm on their chair, or try and hide behind others. Or pick the quiet ones and see the sweat pour! Just be careful of the drama queens or loudmouth princesses. Those will either start asking questions loudly, or just blow their fuse and create a vortex of anger and incoherent blabber. You might also want to stear clear of students who show waaaaaaaaayyyy to much skin, as a staring contest might be interpreted as something else which most school boards and most soccer moms frown upon.
#2 the yes/no headbob switch.
Wanna figure out if the person standing in front of you has any braincells left to scramble? Here's a fun way to do it. When that person asks you a yes/no question (can I go to the bathroom please?), answer verbally but bob your head with the opposite gesture, so if you say yes, gesture no with your head. Tons of fun!!! Watch them try and figure out what to do, while just standing there like a brussells sprout. It's the classic "caught in headlights" look for most, as some will just start laughing nervously. The really fun ones are those who actually get pissed (pardon the pun) and lose their cool. You can try and switch your response for added hilarity (switch both gesture and verbal response as to be always opposite). Finally, if you really want to them to call a headshrink, just answer whatever random word that comes to your mind. I use "roastbeef" or "Napoleon Bonapart". You'll either get a reputation for being completely nuts (medical term being "offyourrockersaitis") or just slightly mad, but not too bad when medicated. Either way, you'll get their attention next time they come into class, and they'll definitely stop asking stupid questions!
#3 The Final Countdown
This one actually gets them thinking about something else other than Britney or how to be more bootylicious. Look around the class and just randomly start writing bars on a piece of paper, as if you were Counting something. Just make sure a few students see you do this. When they start asking questions about it, be as vague as possible. Usually, I reply "I'm just counting something"and that sends them into a frenzy for a couple of minutes. Just look around at everyone, and from time to time, put another bar on your sheet. Try and write A LOT of bars. After a couple of minutes, they'll start looking around to find what you're counting, and when they can't fgure out what, they'll actually shut up and wait!! That's because, in most kids' brain, the thought process automatically goes into damage control or sneaky mode, and they'll think you're counting idiot behavior or those students who are not working as they should. So as not to be counted, they'll actually start acting appropriately!!! In some cases, the group actually started acting up in a weird way, in which case you should storm out of the classroom acting really mad and (bring the sheet with the countdown on it) say something like "that's it!!! the principal will deal with this now!!! I have proof right here!!! Scares the shiat out of them!! When you'l return in a couple of minutes, they'll be reeeaaalllll quiet, I promise!
This post first appeared on My Life In Hell (or Does It Just Feel Like Hell??!, please read the originial post: here
