Dreaming of warm summer days, to help her break free from the dark and cold Northern winter, Amber remembers the carefree days of her youth. Is spring is just around the corner? I used to dance on speakers. I Smoked with drink in hand and danced until my mascara ran down my face. I wore tight pants and shirts that sparkled like the stars the city lights blocked out. I kissed girls and chased boys and laughed. Hair teased, tangled, wild, I owned something I didn’t appreciate. God, to capture that feeling. Today, gosh, today. The clock governs my survival. Squeezing more than is possible into a single minute, never accounting for small interruptions. I have not smoked a cigarette in ten years and I have begun craving them again. Not the actual nicotine, but the way that action made me feel. So open, so wide open, each drag bringing about a possibility. There were no clocks, no demands in that one small moment. If I realized I was doing something reckless–it didn’t matter–I was the only one who would suffer the consequences. The music pulsating, my heart jumping along with it, if I tried I’m sure I could have […]