Today it was different.

The painfully boring weekend routine had been spiced up by a lucky discovery.

From the corner of his eye, while walking by the more touristy side of the city, Malcolm had spotted something dark and at the same time golden and shiny laying on the grass.

With nothing better to do, no destination to reach, no tight schedule to follow, Malcolm took the few steps away from the path towards the mysterious object and grabbed it for further inspection.

In his hands, Malcolm Steadman was the surprising owner of a Mars chocolate bar. But this was no ordinary Mars bar, this was the kind sold in England, with all of the nougat, caramel, chocolate and none of the almonds.

The simple packaging just read “Mars”, but the curvy font made it look special, like a piece of confectionery from Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

With excitement, but carefully as to not spoil the wrapper, Malcolm opened the bar and experienced both pleasure and disappointment in equal measure. He was delighted to confirm that an actual real-life Mars chocolate bar was in front of him, ready to be eaten with gusto. However, he was equally disappointed as there was no golden ticket or message inside of the wrapper, just plain silver like foil. A part of Malcolm had expected some sort of serendipitous connection to his secret benefactor.

Malcolm took a small bite.

The sugary taste rushed to his brain, suddenly making him a bit more awake. After all, he had been running on an empty stomach since the previous night.

A sense of comfort and wellness spread through his body and for the first time in days, maybe weeks, he smiled.

Malcolm suddenly became very self-aware. He looked left and right as if this was some sort of lure or trap. Maybe, just maybe, there was some candid camera waiting for his reaction, to the pleasure of thousands of viewers seeing how precious this little chocolate bar was to him.

His original plan of slowly taking small nibbles off the bar was scrapped and replaced by him wolfing down the rest of the bar in a sad attempt to avoid it being taken off him.

All that was left was the simple wrapper spelling Mars.

Mars.

A distant planet. One that could potentially sustain life. Can you imagine? Leaving everything behind on a one-way ticket to a new planet. Being one of the pioneers, entering History.

This thought gave Malcolm some hope. He had nothing to lose; no friends or family to say goodbye to; no material possessions of any worth and no plans or commitments for the future. He would be an ideal candidate. He was used to living with very little food and near to no hygiene. He was used to physical pain and he could endure almost anything. In a way, all this homeless experience would have been a perfect training for his upcoming trip to Mars.

It sort of made sense.

He also had a critical advantage: he was not afraid of death.

Most people would probably cower away when the time came to board the spaceship, thinking twice about the many things to be left behind; but not astronaut Steadman!

Astronaut Steadman. It sounded great.

Malcolm pictured himself volunteering for the Mars trip, enduring the harsh training and passing with flying colors due to his sturdiness and willingness to comply. He fantasized with the exact moment of taking off and when freed from Earth’s gravity; him floating around inside the spaceship. He saw himself being brave during the dangerous landing and the euphoria experienced when setting foot on Mars for the first time.

He would work hard on Mars, oh yes! Nobody would work harder than astronaut Steadman.

He would ensure that the planet’s terraforming would keep up with the tight deadlines set by Earth. He would ensure that future generations of humans on Mars would grow happy and healthy. He would tell them all about Earth, how great a planet it was and…

Wait a minute.

New generations on Mars would grow differently than on Earth. The effect of having just 37% of Earth’s gravity would mean that Martians would have less muscle and their bones would be less dense. In the unlikely event of some Martians traveling back to Earth, the effect of gravity being three times as high would be devastating. Their lungs would collapse and their bones would simply crunch.

There was no going back to Earth for the poor Martians.

And what would be the purpose of these Martians?

If Mars had valuable resources, Earth would instruct them to mine them and ship them back to the blue planet. Martians’ sole purpose in life would be one of work and obedience. A life devoid of luxuries, harsh, boring, cold.

The other option was even more unsettling. If Mars did not have any valuable resources, then it could become a canned project, a monstrous quango, a place for tax evasion, gambling and illegal trade. Not a happy place to be an innocent child that can’t go back home to mother Earth.

Malcolm thought of these children’s dreams of Earth, about the many hours of television and online streaming showing them how good Earthlings had it; the incredible variety of food and drinks that Earthlings had in stark contrast with their own very restricted mostly vegetarian diet.

Malcolm thought of the many things these children would lack, like freedom of movement. Even the poorest people on Earth are free to move from one site to another, but when you live inside a dome, caged, with instant death waiting for you outside, you cannot afford to elope.

The children of Mars were prisoners; worse than prisoners, as these can go anywhere once they pay their dues to society. They were just slaves in the making, livestock, not having known anything better than that.

The thought of these poor helpless Martian children makes Malcolm curve in a ball in fetal position, he starts crying; crying for the poor Martian children.

A gust of wind snatches the Mars bar wrapper off Malcolm’s hands and it flies away the same way that it came from.

This week’s Existential Terror and Breakfast was guest written by Carlos Moreno Serrano, author of the philosophy blog Philosophise Now! Carlos has also started a serial of his own titled The Group which you can read here. Or you can read his articles at:

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